It’s been about 38 hours and I still have a terrible sick feeling in my stomach. And although I normally blog about the funny parts of parenting, tonight is different. Tonight I’m still thinking about the fact that being a parent can be very serious. Let me tell you about my mistake…
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It was yesterday morning. I had my hands at 10 and 2. I wasn’t touching or even looking at my phone. The radio was low. The visibility was clear. The roads were not icy. I was not tired. And for some reason, I missed a stop sign. In fact I completely drove through a pretty busy road… with my daughter in the backseat.
I realized it the split second that I passed the sign, and I’m certain that my heart stopped beating until we got through the intersection and I stopped the car. I looked in the mirror and Makenzie was just looking up and sucking on her binky. And as I looked back a truck sped through the intersection.
THANKFULLY we were fine physically. Somehow we got incredibly lucky and the usually busy two-way stop intersection didn’t have any traffic for that one second. We escaped a stupid error of mine and we are totally fine, but I’m shaken to my core.
I can’t stop thinking… What if there had been traffic? What if we weren’t so lucky?
I can’t stop thinking… HOW did I do that? HOW did I jeopardize our lives? WHAT was I thinking?
I keep replaying it and I’m not sure how I missed the sign, but I did.
It’s been almost two days and I’m still shaking. I’m still teary thinking about what the other outcomes could have been. I’m still furious with myself. And I’m still going up to Makenzie’s room every few minutes to kiss her sweet sleepy head.
There’s no doubt that we are INCREDIBLY LUCKY. For some reason, someone was watching out for us.
Two nights ago I would have argued that I was an extremely safe driver, and that I was 100% focused, but this week proves I have an opportunity to do better, And the reason I write this is because I’m guessing that we all have an opportunity to do a little better. Being a parent can be really fun, but it is also a tremendous responsibility. Being a parent is about being 100% focused on the world to protect our kids. I’m not proud to write this but maybe it will make a difference for the other moms, dads and grandparents reading this.
Please think about what you’re doing when you’re doing it. Drive slower. Focus more. And remember that we’re just visitors in this world with no length-of-stay guarantee. Once you do that, hug your kids extra tight tonight. I’m taking this experience as a reminder to ALWAYS be GRATEFUL for all I have in this world. I hope you are too.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for not judging.
With Love,
Erin
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