Archives for September 2014

Dear Makenzie, absence makes the heart grow fonder

Dear Makenzie,

Hi munchkin!  Guess what?!?   We’re getting closer to October!  October means long weekends, a trip to the pumpkin patch, your Birthday and your sibling’s gender reveal.

This goes without saying but September has been crazy.  It is easily my busiest month of the year at work.  I miss you when I’m gone but I’m thankful I have a job I love.  I’m thankful that the best Daddy Daycare conveniently opens at 5 pm each night (and sometimes on the weekends).  I’m thankful for the cute CEO of Daddy Daycare.  I’m thankful you don’t mind easy meals like Digiorno pizzas and chicken nuggets.  And I’m thankful that your little heart is full of forgiveness when I work late or miss a bedtime.

But to be honest, this month hasn’t been all bad.  It’s reminded me that it’s okay to have a career AND a family.  It turns out that the world won’t explode when I’m gone from you.  In fact, you have tons of fun at the world-famous Daddy Daycare, and I’m a more appreciative mom because I value my time with you so much more.

This month has reminded me that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  During the time we’ve spent together I’ve appreciated you SO much more, and you’ve melted my heart SO much more.

Here are some of my favorite little things you do…

You sing.  During bedtime a few weeks ago I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to you and you started singing back to me.  Talk about melting my heart!

You show me stuff.  Big stuff, little stuff and everything in between.  You take my hand and say, “Come mama, come.”  We look at rocks, and flowers and dolls, and all kinds of fun stuff.  How lucky am I to be the one worthwhile of seeing the world from your perspective?

You talk to your baby sibling.  Lately you like to touch my belly and say. “Hi baby!  Hiiii!”  I’m not sure if you grasp what’s about to happen in a few months, but we don’t really grasp it either so I guess we’ll learn together.

And most importantly, you always take those cute little chubby arms of your and throw them around my neck when I get home.  No matter how long I’ve been gone, you always greet me with a big hug. and a “Love you Mama.”

Sometimes life keeps us busier than we might think we can handle, but the time away sure makes me extra grateful for the time together.  Makenzie, you continue to grow and amaze me every single day.  Somehow, you are a mere 5 days away from being TWO years old!  You… my sweet, colicky, newborn baby girl… are growing up!  I can’t promise I’ll be there for you every moment of your life, but I can promise I’ll never take our time for granted.

Erin Kenz color

My buddy! Love this little girl.

Get out your party hat and your pumpkin socks Makenzie… October is just around the corner!






Getting real about baby #2

Truth be told…

We are nervous about another baby.  Very very nervous.

There, I said it.  Boo, hiss.  Throw stones at me and tell me I’m a rotten mom.

angry mob with words

The angry mob coming to get me!

We are now 21 weeks pregnant with a very healthy baby.  We feel blessed, we feel grateful and we feel like our “someday” dream of a family of four is actually happening.  It’s pretty darn cool, but yet we can’t shake that question of how will we handle this?   Somehow during our “someday” dream of a family of four we conveniently failed to think about the long days of a screaming baby factor, the  even longer nights of a sick toddler following by a full day of work obligations factor, the two kids in childcare factor and the how the heck will we be able to manage two babies with a house, two careers and two imperfect adults who sometimes just need to recharge their batteries factor.    

Along with the nervousness comes guilt because I will never forget the feeling of being in the emergency room on a cold November night three years ago when we realized that our first pregnancy was ending 32 sooner than anticipated.  I know just how incredibly lucky we are to be having another baby, but yet I feel nervous.  And then there’s the guilt because I didn’t feel nervousness before Makenzie arrived.  I gleefully counted down the days to meet our sweet baby girl.  I organized her socks, color coordinated her bows and spent hours rocking in her chair envisioning the nights when I would hold and sing to her.  I was clearly unaware of what was about to happen.

What actually happened was that we had a beautiful little girl.  She was and continues to be AMAZING!  But that beautiful little girl cried.  She cried a lot.  She cried all day and she cried all night.  I was exhausted.  I was failing at nursing and I was slightly losing it.  Burning eyes, cracking nips and melting-down mama… what happened to the Hallmark scenes I envisioned?

Instead of soundly sleeping and cooing, Makenzie cried… and then I cried… and then she cried more…  And then I cried more.  It was that awful c-word.  You know, the c word that rhymes with frolic, except there was no frolicking in the beginning with Makenzie.  Struggling, yes.  Frolicking, not really.


Poor baby at one month old. 🙁

So now with baby #2 quickly approaching his or her arrival date we can’t help but feel slightly apprehensive about how we’ll handle a very fun & adventurous big sis Makenzie, and a possibly non-frolicking-yet-colicking newborn.  Is that bad to be nervous?

Then I think of Makenzie today.  The way she giggles uncontrollably, the way she holds our hand in her face and says “Yove You,” and the way she melts our hearts time and time again.  I’m thinking that two kids means that we’ll have two times the good moments.  Right?  Perhaps it means double the coffee, double the meltdown moments and double the stress at times, but beyond the colic days I think we’ll come out smiling, right?


This girl sure did!

 So bear with us.  Tell us we’re not the only ones who have ever felt this way (even if we are).  Buckle up extra tight.  And neighbors, get the ear plugs.  It’s about to get a little crazy around here!

But I think that maybe, just maybe we’ll be able to handle it, and at the end of the day, spend some time frolicking with our two cutie pies.