The Birthing Playlist ~What NOT to have on your IPod~

The “Oh my God We’re about to be Parents To Do List” is getting shorter!  Recently Denny and I put a check mark next to the Create an IPod list to be played in the birthing room item.

It seemed simple enough, but it turns out we had more fun selecting songs that should Not be allowed versus selecting songs appropriate for 26 hours of excruciating pain.  So we have  instead created…

The Top 10 Songs NOT to Play in the Birthroom:

10.  I Wanna Be Sedated  –  Chances are that if you want to be sedated the anesthesiologist has already been paged, don’t let the Ramones remind you of how long you’ve been waiting.

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9.  Sexy and I know it  –  Hospital gowns, swollen feet, sweaty hair… if that makes you feel sexy then you deserve an award Mama!

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8.  Baby Got Back  –  Playing this song might just make your little one decide to show off her itty bitty waist and put her round thing in your face, and you probably don’t want to have to deal with a breach situation.  Save this tune for your reunion with your college girlfriends!

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7.  Baby  – Pretty much everyone knows why you are in the birthing room, no need for Justin Beiber to be Captain Obvious and remind you of whats happening.  Plus do you really want the first noise your baby hears outside the womb to be the voice of a teenager that wears skinny jeans?  Highly doubtful!

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6.  It’s Five O’ Clock Somewhere –It probably is five o’clock somewhere but the last thing you need to do is to be watching the clock, especially if you’ve been in labor since it was 2 AM somewhere a day or two ago.  But on a bright note, you might only be a few days away from someone pouring you something Tall and Strong for the first time in 40 weeks.  Cheers!

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5.  Born to be Wild  – Kids these days are wild enough…have you seen Here Comes Honey Boo Boo??  Don’t give your future daughter or son any more ideas.

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4.  Everybody Hurts –  If you are the one in labor, don’t let anyone else tell you that they feel your pain, let alone REM.  Odds are, you are the only one in the room understanding how much you hurt.  So skip this song and focus on breathing through those contractions.

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3.  You Shook Me All Night Long  –  Yep, you did… about 9 months ago.  But thinking back to that night is clearly inappropriate for a serene birth setting.

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2.  Push It – I’d advise listening to the nurse tell you when and how to push, not Salt N Pepa.

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1.  Like a Virgin  — Sorry girlfriend, but that ship has sailed… and you are not on it.  Perhaps Madge should be filling your room with Like A Prayer.  You’ll Like a Prayer, especially if you don’t Like an Epidural.

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