Hey Kenz girl,
It’s me, Mom.
You’re probably going to roll your eyes at this… but I want to remind you that you have absolutely precious, adorable, sweet, little, perfect baby girl ears. They are so cute and they make me smile. And the reason I remind you of this is because yesterday at the grocery store I saw a girl about 16 years older than you who decided she didn’t love or appreciate her ears in their current shape. In fact she wanted to change the shape of her ears so much that she put giant plastic round spacers in them to create a huge permanent holes in both of her ears.
It’s possible that this girl thought that it’s cool to permanently put giant holes in her ears. Or perhaps she put giant holes in her ears to impress people in her life. But maybe, just maybe she decided to stretch out her ears because her mom forgot to remind her just how precious her ears were.
So if you ever think it’s super cool to stretch the crap out of those ears, just remember that your lame old conservative Mom thinks they are perfect as is. Plus if you ever want to stretch out your skin, you’ll easily be able to do this when you have kids (which is of course not likely to happen for at least 29 1/2 years since you aren’t allowed to date until then).
If you have any questions about this, ask your dad. He’ll be more than glad to clarify about this situation and what you are and are not allowed to do to your ears.
Much Love,
Mom
PS While we are on the topic of things that we are not excited about in our house, don’t even think about dancing like Miley Cyrus did at the VMA’s unless you want to be grounded until you are 73. That’s absolutely not what we refer to when we sing the Shake your sillies out song.
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