Holla toddler Moms,
A relaxing day at the park sounds lovely, right?
You mean toddler Moms don’t get to relax like this at the park?
Wrong! Grab your sneakers, the diaper bag, your SuperMom cape and perhaps some Xanax. It’s playground season!
And maybe I’m just a Rookie Mom but the park is a scary place. Let me tell you why…
:: High-Low game ::
The playground for a toddler Mom is actually like a giant chess board. One wrong move and it’s game over. From my experience (or lack thereof) there appear to be 2 schools of thought when monitoring your tiny tots at the p-ground.
Theory One: Stay High – Some experts suggest that you stay directly behind that toddler as they run across the bridges and up the metal steps. The good news is that you are one step behind them if they lose their balance. The bad news is that said toddler is always just one slide away from complete and total freedom. Undoubtedly your oversize Mom butt will get stuck going down the slide and in this time your kiddo could potentially sprint across the playground. Fail!
Theory Two: Stay Low – The competing theory is to stay on the ground as your toddler races through the metal jungle gym. Theoretically you will be one step ahead and you’ll be there to scoop up your kiddo as the bottom of the slide. But being on the ground isn’t ideal either… one wrong move and your kid is on a breakaway through the twists and turns of the playground. Do you climb the ladder and chase them, or try to run around the playground and then anticipate which slide they’ll go down? Either way it’s playground Checkmate.
How fast can you race around the perimeter of the playground? Not fast enough!
:: Bad example bullies ::
Got a toddler who loves to imitate everything you do and say? Perfect! The playground seems to be a breeding ground for bad-ass tweens that like to jump from the 10-foot platforms and run the wrong way up the slide.
Grandma’s gonna love your kiddos new vocabulary!
:: Drop-offs ::
Speaking of 10-foot falls, why MUST all playgrounds have those large openings to allow kids to rappel from the metal playground sides? Seems fun for Spiderman, but what about our wee baby toddlers? These are NOT cool!
So there you have it. Call me crazy… call me overprotective… call me a helicopter parent… but I think the playground can be a scary place for toddler Mom.
Will this fear stop me from visiting the slides and swings with my fearless tot? Heck no! But I’m going to have to strategize a little better when it comes to staying one step ahead of Makenzie.
And as for the saying about a Day at the park… I’m pretty sure this false representation of a relaxing day was created by the same person who coined the phrase sleeping like a baby. Maybe they should change it to sleeping like a toddler Mom! Nighty night!
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Need some wine after your trip to the playground?
The bottle is always half full at Mommy McBlog
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Erin – I laughed out loud as I read this! Truer words have never been written! I especially loved the “bad-ass tweens” comment – why on Earth do they think the playground toddler zone is perfect for them? And I love how their parents are never, ever around.
We visited the playground a couple weekends ago with our friends and one stayed up “high” on the equipment and two of us were “low” on the ground running the perimeter to keep them from falling through those ridiculous openings. And we STILL had trouble managing the kids and keeping them from getting bumped and scraped. The only success is that the tweens stayed a bit further away with so many adults circling the equipment -ha!
Thanks Jess! I’m glad we’re not alone in our feelings about the playground. They should issue helmets to kids under age 3 upon entering the playground… And they should give moms wine on the way out! Good job on keeping those tweens away!! MABAT – moms against bad ass Tweens! 🙂