The monsters under my working mom bed

April 6, 2015 by · Leave a Comment

Tomorrow.  Ugh.  Tomorrow is the day I leave my babies to go back to work.  Maternity leave is over.  Really?  How did that happen?  My baby boy was just coming home from the hospital and now I’m leaving him to go to work.  My heart is aching and I’m terrified for the adjustment.  The what ifs are daunting… What if we can’t get out the door on time?  What if I can’t handle it all?  What if I miss the kid’s bedtime?  What if I miss a deadline?  What if the kids miss me?  What if they don’t?  What if I disappoint my co-workers and my boss?  What if I disappoint Denny?  What if I disappoint the kids?

These ‘what ifs’ have been haunting me and causing me anxiety for weeks, but the reality is that they are nothing more than monsters under my working mom bed.  Just like a kiddo I’m creating a world of fears that in reality don’t exist.  Right now the monsters seem big, hairy and scary but there is much reality that can make my mom monster fears go away.

The reality is that I’m going back to a job I love.  The reality is that I have great co-workers, a super awesome boss and a job that makes me feel like I’m making a difference in the world.  The reality is that I have a pretty flexible schedule.  The reality is that I have an incredibly supportive husband who does drop-offs and pick-ups, who makes dinner, and who does laundry.  The reality is that we have the most wonderful childcare provider that we could imagine, and Makenzie and Mitchell get to be together all day.  The reality is that by the end of the day tomorrow I’ll probably feel good about returning to the adult world.

So tonight I’ll keep my flashlight next to my bed and do the best I can to scare away the monsters.  I’m sure they won’t go away but hopefully they won’t keep me up too late.  And tomorrow I’ll squeeze (literally) into my work pants, I’ll use some waterproof mascara, I’ll fill my desk with pictures of the kiddos, and I’ll head back to the workplace I love.  It may not be my most productive day but I’ll make it through and hopefully prove to myself that we can do it.

So go away monsters!  I’ve got real fears to deal with like how I will ever fit into my work pants…

…to be continued.

monsters under the bed

 

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Never Eat Alone

March 23, 2015 by · Leave a Comment

Hello Irony,

Nice to see you.

A few weeks before maternity leave I made a one-click Amazon order for the book Never Eat Alone.  What was I thinking?  Not only have I not made it past the first page, but I’ve also never disagreed more with a book title in my life.  Never Eat Alone… are you kidding me?!?  I want nothing more than to eat alone.  Quietly.  Without food to cut up.  Without a newborn to bounce up and down.  And without epic negotiations that involve rounds of ‘one more bite’ in return for godforsaken Frozen fruit snacks (thank you Disney).

Is this what Keith Ferrazzi was referring to?

In fact Eating Alone sounds so amazing that on my first day back to work I might lock myself in the conference room, dim the lights, sit quietly and slowly savor my very own sandwich.  The sandwich would be mine, all mine!  Not leftover from Kenz and not in the shape of Elmo.

But then I think about the two little people in our lives and all the ways they make our mealtimes crazy… Kenzie’s cute lunchtime chatter, Mitchell’s dinnertime coos and their cute jammie breakfast attire.  And with just two weeks left before I go back to work I better embrace the craze these two munchkins create.  I’m pretty sure that before I know it I’ll be spending countless days eating alone at my desk while I blast out e-mails just so I can leave on time and get back to my meal crashers.

So until then, bring on the craze kiddos… the spills, the chatter, the whines and even the chewy sugar-covered Olaf treats.  This mom is really going to miss these days of never eating alone.

XOXO

Erin

PS  If anyone has cliff notes for the book, please pass them along to me.

 

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Trading in my Rookie status

March 12, 2015 by · 1 Comment

I think I’m ready to trade in my Rookie Mom status.  I’m no pro but I’m nine weeks into my second maternity leave and I’ve learned a few things along the way…

When it comes to kids, 99% of tears can be solved by one of the following: a binky, a bottle, a swaddle, a clean diaper or an episode of weird Disney collector on YouTube.

Cat food is non-toxic and therefore is not harmful when digested by children (thank you Poison control center).

The world doesn’t judge you if your baby cries in public.  In fact, most people don’t even notice.

Kids look to their parents to determine their mood.  You’re cranky, they’re cranky.  You’re happy, they’re happy.  You’re calm, they’re calm.

Diapers leak, bottles leak and boobs leak… don’t leave home without a spare onesie, burp cloth or scarf.

And when it comes to moms, 99% of tears can be solved by one of the following: a glass of wine, a nap, a few minutes of HGTV or a hug from a little set of arms.

 ……………………………..

Armed with these lessons, an overflowing diaper bag and a little bit of momfidence, my babies and I have been taking full advantage of my time off work to live it up!

Here’s what we’ve been doing over the past two months:

::  Making it out the door.  Some days this is a victory in itself.  ::

“Smile kids! We are all wearing pants, we are not covered in poop and we are out of the house before 11 am.”

 

::  Enjoying play dates  ::

It has been SO wonderful to spend time with many of my fellow mom friends who I often only see on Facebook.  We’ve been hosting and attending lots of play dates and it turns out that play dates are just as much fun for the moms as they are for the kids.

Kenz and one of her favorite buddies.

 

::  Bouncing around town  ::

So far we’ve been to the science museum, Rollie Pollies, Explore & More, story time at the library and this cool bounce house place.  Mitchell sleeps through most of our outings but Makenzie is having a blast.

This girl has no fear

 

Being worldly and checking out the Dutch windmills at Explore and More. Following this we continued our European education by enjoying some French fries from McDonald’s. Oui Oui!

 

::  Going for walks  ::

Now that Elsa broke the Frozen spell on Lancaster we’ve been enjoying a few trips around the neighborhood.  We can’t get enough of the fresh air and the extra hour of daylight.

Kenz carrying her baby like Mommy.

 

::  Roadtrippin  ::

Call us crazy but we decided we needed a trip to Ohio to see some of our favorite people.  Luckily we have two good little travelers.

Tired dolly

 

Kenz and her future boyfriend Keene.

 

Breakfast with Nana and Papa

::  Soaking in the smiles  ::

Usually we plan a day or two each week to just hang out in the house and have fun.  It’s a good place to be when you get to see grins like this all day.

Littlest M showing off his grins.

I’m still years away from Mom Pro status but each day I learn a few more lessons about how to be a mom of two kiddos.  My next lesson is going to be how I’ll leave my little M’s to head back to work. I work with awesome people and we have a good support system so we will just have to take it one day at a time (and plan on lots of take out).  Until then we’ll soak up our days together and enjoy a few more weeks of road trips, play dates and time in the slow lane.

xxoo

Erin

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